It is worth saying to begin with that anything that the church puts forward as their viewpoint is not because they have got together and held a democratic vote on the subject, but is because it is revealed in a higher standard, The Bible, which Christians believe to be the word of God (For more see article How do we know the Bible is the word of God? [Coming soon]).
I would like to make it very clear to begin with, that God created sex, and is absolutely delighted with that. Because of this He wrote a whole book about sex and intimacy within the Bible called the Song of Songs. Over past generations it would be fair to say that, on occasion, the church has been too silent on this wonderful joy for all married couples, which has allowed society to take over and cause us to learn about it only from reading various magazines.
Lust as Adultery
Masturbation is not referred to directly in the Bible as a sin, although do not stop reading at this point. The main principle that needs to be considered if you are either married or unmarried is, does it cause you to lust after women/men other than your spouse (N.B. Not your girlfriend or boyfriend)? Jesus makes it very clear that if you have lusted in your heart it is as good as having committed adultery (Matt 5:28). Jesus treats lust very seriously indeed, when you consider committing adultery is one of the ten commandments (Exodus 20:14) that God gave to Moses.
The reality is that masturbation should only be performed within a marriage by a husband and wife (Song of Songs 2:3, 2:6, 4:12) for the mutual benefit of bringing one another closer together, not as an option for being selfish. If it is being done outside of this context then 99.9% of the time it is going to be a sin because it is likely to stem from checking out some guy or girl you think is ‘hot’ and storing the image for later, watching pornography, or doing it with someone that you are messing around with, or even in a serious relationship with.
Yes, technically speaking, you might be able to masturbate while not lusting, like thinking about a piece of chewing gum, or a nice meadow, but not many of us find that very arousing, and if you do ... be very worried indeed!
Reap what you sow
In the Bible it says that we will reap what we sow (Gal 6:6-8), and if we spend large portions of our single life masturbating over pornography, (or with multiple men or women) then consider for yourself what seed you are sowing. You are ‘sowing’ into your mind that one person is not enough (by looking at multiple naked bodies), selfishness (Sex is actually about serving the other person in marriage), and without being too graphic, you are more likely to be rubbish in bed as a man (I can’t speak for women!), because you will be used to reaching orgasm very quickly and fail to lovingly satisfy your wife. Hardly, a recipe for a successful marriage, whether you are a Christian or not.
Ask yourself whether these things are really what you want to ‘reap’ in your life?
On the other hand, living a life which is in tune with God’s plan will help you to reap other things such as self-control, sacrificial love and a godly desire for one man or woman, which, even if you are single at the moment, can serve you very well preparing you for married life. A society that lives successfully in this way will feel many social and economic benefits, which is very much a benefit that the UK needs more than ever.
God’s plan – Marriage
As I mentioned earlier God is totally for sex, within its appropriate context, and this is ultimately what God has given sexual desire for. This is not because God is trying to ruin our fun, but because like a loving father he cares about us and does not want us to get hurt by giving ourselves away to other people who we then break up with.
When we become sexually involved with someone, a significant bond is formed between the two people and this is exactly what God designed. However, when we break up with lots of casual partners (outside of marriage), we go through a lot of pain as these bonds are broken, and can be very badly emotionally hurt, which can lead to major personal insecurities.
The other alternative is that you break these bonds with people so often like a prostitute that you become completely desensitized to the actual joy of sex as a loving fact, and it becomes merely just another biological function like going to the toilet. What a huge tragedy when sex is reduced to such a purpose.
God wants to give us a context where we can explore one another sexually in a ‘covenant’ relationship, where there is security that we will be together for life. It is in this relationship that there is complete liberty and freedom, not in multiple partners.
(For more on marriage please check out http://reason.cck.org.uk/tag/relationships/)
Living a Pure Life – Jesus
One of the best things about this subject is we have an example of a man who went through all of these things too. Jesus Christ was tempted in every way, but was without sin (Hebrews 4:15). This seems somewhat shocking to say if you have never considered it, but Jesus was tempted to masturbate. Yes, really. Jesus despite being in very nature God (Philippians 2:6), was also fully man (Philippians 2:8). Through Jesus we learn that temptation is not the same as sin, and also that it is possible to live a pure life with freedom in this particular area, by the power of the personal work of the Holy Spirit.
Forgiveness
This can be an area which many people spend far too much time living in guilt over, and whether you are a non-Christian or a Christian, this is not God’s plan. If you are struggling in this particular area, then please remember that it is the devil’s plan for you to live in this place, (John 10:10), whereas Jesus wants you to live life to the full.
Let’s be clear about this: I don’t mean just glossing over the issue. I mean coming to Jesus and confessing your sin to him. I would strongly recommend speaking to another Christian about it to help keeping you accountable about this issue (James 5:16), and help you by the power of the Holy Spirit to change.
If you are not yet a Christian and recognise the problems that this habit can cause, then I would encourage you to first give your life to Jesus Christ, who alone gives you a completely brand new life (2 Corinthians 5:17). You can come to him just as you are, and he will change you. Don’t try and become a more moral person first and then think you have earned the right to being a Christian. It’s a free gift, and God is not impressed with your moral attempts at self-help. Come to the one who gives clean water to drink and stop drinking the toilet water that promises to satisfy but never can.
For more on this subject please check out Mark Driscoll’s very frank e-booklet:
