Saturday was Simon and Anna Brading’s wedding in St Albans. Memorable event. Simon, who heads up the incredible CCK worship department will move, with his bride, into their new house in the centre of Brighton after Newday (www.newday.xtn.org) in August.

 

On returning to Brighton one of his responsibilities will be relaunching CCK’s highly successful Worship School (www.worshipschool.com).

 

The service was moving and celebratory, the weather fantastic and the reception elegant and lavish, though I changed out of my suit and tie like a school boy dumping his uniform…

 

The most striking aspect of the day was the speeches. These are not always the highlight of a wedding but when a truly Jesus centred family is involved they can be revealing. Anna’s Dad, Dave, spoke emotionally about how he had fulfilled his responsibility as a father and was now passing Anna over to Simon. Simon did well thanking his friends – but then publically honoured his parents and two brothers, David and Jamie. He said I don’t know any family like ours and I don’t know any brothers closer than us – and the fact is, watching them and knowing them as I do, I kind of agree (though I hope my family and brothers run a close second…). The best man speeches (which David and Jamie shared with Joe Tuson, Simon’s best friend) gave further credibility to Simon’s claim.

 

Having had Simon live with us for some months and having hung out with David a lot – and more recently with Jamie – Kate and I know that they have grown to become fervent, humble, robust, hardworking, responsible and light hearted men, who love Jesus, trust one-another and utterly rejoice in each other’s successes. It’s almost unique.

 

Being a father of two young boys (and a daughter – a different kind of challenge…) I am genuinely eager to learn from men who’ve done a good job, so I grabbed Steve (their father) after the reception and asked him how he did it. He gave me an answer that I have never read in a book or heard in a sermon, but was worth twenty of each. I’ll tell you some of it – and I hope Steve doesn’t kill me.

 

At a young age on one occasion one of the boys sinned in a way that alarmed Steve and then tried to cover it up. Steve said it woke him up to the battle which was on his hands. He brought discipline in the situation (which he was never afraid to do), but also began to seek God for his sons in a new way. Psalm 127 was sharply brought to his mind which speaks of children as ‘arrows at the hands of a warrior’. It was actually the word warrior which spoke to Steve. Children cannot be arrows at the hands of a wuss. To get sons who would do damage for God Steve knew he must learn to fight for them. So he talked with Ruth (his fantastic wife) and they covenanted to pray and fast each Friday for their sons.

 

A big commitment, yes… But maybe parenting is a big calling.

 

Steve also made a regular daily commitment to praying with the boys over the breakfast table, so they would learn from their Dad (most kids never hear their Dad pray – even from church families) that loving Jesus is not only for women and children.

 

He finally said that he would occasionally sit one of them down and ask how he could improve in his fathering, making a point to say sorry where needed and to invite their opinion. Maybe the criticism and advice of a young child to his father would seem naïve and simplistic – but Steve reasoned that God doesn’t dismiss the praises of children (Psalm 8) and who knew him better than his sons anyway?

 

I honestly thank God for conversations like this and would commend Steve’s example to any young men aspiring to fatherhood – which I hope is all of them. I also beg you to follow my example by just asking – asking for help and insight from the men God has put in the chair next to you on Sunday. The input of any mature godly man in your church is worth more than gold and you are a fool if you never ask. So please put the Wii away (or the FHM mag or whatever) and find wisdom.